Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize