I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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