call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
