He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
babies were throwing up all over the place
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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