He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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