i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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