she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
