I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
