Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
