I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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