Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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