i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
As shirtless as possible
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
