Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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