handjob tips. give me some.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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