brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
