Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i will never coherently bang her
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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