How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize