in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
