just tell him i said nine months
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
