You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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