Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
