You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
