kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
