JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
