I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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