I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
