Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
