the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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