You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
