How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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