K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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