There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
