Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
