alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize