Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
