Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
