You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
