mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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