Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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