I want to stick my p in your. b.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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