i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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