How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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