those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
