windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
BRING THE BAGELS
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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