Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
