My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
These tits shall not be calmed
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
