Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
