This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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