she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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