I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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