I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I think I am morally bankrupt
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
