She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
