We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
