I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
