Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
