Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
