Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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