i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
