so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Everything about him screamed your future.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
