He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
