God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
